World Literature Opening Phrases Ipsum

In the previous post I referred to Google delicately choosing a paragraph from Franz Kafka’s ‘Die Verwandlung’ as a font showcase bla-bla text.
There is nothing wrong with using the standard Lorem Ipsum text, mind you. Who does not want to use/show the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s.
(Does make you (look) erudite, scholarly and well-educated: haughtily sprinkling some ‘de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum’ by Cicero … and you are the Man/Woman!)

There are some Lorem Ipsum alternatives. Most of them do not make me happy or smile, to put it mildly, except for the notorious Samuel L. Ipsum Lorem Ipsum Generator (motherfucking placeholder text motherfucker!). You know the guy:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a Lorum Ipsum Generator, offering a glorious recapitulation of the World Literature Opening Phrases?

What would I include?
Here are some of my mental bookmarks, all – randomly chosen – sanctifying my soul:

From: Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita, 1955 (first edition) *

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

*) This is not a random choice: ‘Lolita’ may not be the finest or most compelling story I have ever read, but Nabokov is a true magician and the above is certainly one of the most beautiful (opening) paragraphs ever written!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.

From: Gabriel García Márquez, Cien años de soledad, 1967

Muchos años después, frente al pelotón de fusilamiento, el coronel Aureliano Buendía había de recordar aquella tarde remota en que su padre lo llevó a conocer el hielo.

From: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment, 1866 **

On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. bridge.

**) Unfortunately I cannot read, write or understand the Russian language.

From: Multatuli (Eduard Douwes Dekker), Max Havelaar, 1859/1860 ***

Ik ben makelaar in koffie, en woon op de Lauriergracht No. 37.

***) Yes, the source of my Site Title.

I especially want to phrase F. Scott Fitzgerald’s ‘Tender is the night’, 1934,

In the spring of 1917, when Doctor Richard Diver first arrived in Zurich, he was twenty-six years old, a fine age for a man, indeed the very acme of bachelorhood.

as well as the complete ‘Der Zauberberg’ (Thomas Mann, 1913-1924), but time and space won’t allow that, I am afraid.

Comments are closed.